Five Steps To Respond Responsibly To A Boss On A Rant

For all the emphasis on respect in the workplace, many leaders struggle with how to respond when their boss goes on a rant. An effective rant is an intense reprimand intended to sharpen focus and motivate results in the recipient. Unfortunately, the ferocity of the frustrations hurled by the ranter often leave the recipient feeling like a refugee, adrift, disoriented and sometimes desperate.

As a young plant manager, I was on the receiving end of numerous rants while struggling to keep up with the demands of my new job. My boss, Jim, was passionate about performance. Sometimes his calls were so intense that I had to hold the phone about six inches from my head to keep my eardrums intact. Once, my wife Debbie could even hear him from across the room. Twice, Jim’s calls compelled me to leave family vacations in Cape Cod to address issues at my production facility in Mexico, and then return to catch the tail end of our family trip.

Most bosses aren’t lunatics. There are usually legitimate reasons for a boss’s rants. The challenge in dealing with a rant is not what the message contains but how it is conveyed. Jim’s rants were not pleasant, but they were well timed and they certainly helped me focus my attention when I got lost in the leadership fog of running a complex plant.

If you’re the receiver of a rant, don’t look for an answer in comedian Dennis Miller’s book, “I Rant, Therefore I Am.” Instead, assume good intent and try these five steps to respond responsibly when your boss is on a rant.

1. Receive the message.

Breathe fully, listen carefully and sort the signal (the actual message) from the noise (the boss’s intensity) to figure out exactly what’s setting him off. Seek to clarify what you don’t understand and restate the message to confirm it is understood and received. Don’t antagonize the boss by telling him to “calm down.” Avoid giving a “yes, I’m wrong” answer just to get off the phone or out of his office. Instead, use non-defensive communication techniques. Defuse the attack by listening quietly and carefully.

2. Reframe the message for your team.

After making sense of the boss’s rant, communicate deliberately and objectively with your team. Don’t cast blame. Hold yourself and your team accountable for their failures and missed commitments, but don’t let your frustrations cascade onto them. As the leader, you are ultimately responsible for your team’s performance. Filter out the unnecessary emotions and focus the team on the essence of what the boss is communicating.

3. Energize your team.

Be alert to the impact of your boss’s rants on others and avoid the “misery loves company” temptation. My wife wasn’t the only one to witness Jim’s rants. During one of his visits to our production facility, Jim got heated with me in front of my staff. After Jim left, my staff was upset at the way Jim challenged me in front of them. “Why are you upset?” I asked. “He’s right. We are not performing on deliveries, even if the development group handed us a new product that was not ready.” Don’t zap your team’s energy by wallowing in the “woe is me” or blame game drama. Leaders own the problems in their midst, even the ones they didn’t create.

4. Report your progress.

George Bernard Shaw famously said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Make sure that your failure to communicate isn’t fueling the boss’s fire. Those sudden emotion-laden rants often reflect pent-up frustration at your failure to follow up. Implement timely feedback loops to (a) help you learn if you’re on the right or wrong path and (b) allow you to identify more quickly where necessary adjustments to your plan or performance are needed.

5. Reflect and recognize.

While you’re building upon small victories from the steps above, reflect on your own choices and patterns of behavior to detect any correlation with the boss’s rants. When in doubt, ask the boss if there’s a way you can better meet his needs (while not denying your own). If, despite your best efforts, it becomes clear that your boss’s rants are more than frustration and have become demeaning, then draw boundaries. If necessary, speak to HR about your concerns. You can grow by simply recognizing and breaking defensive patterns of behavior that emerge from a rant. If you’re not sure whether the rants are productive or harmful, try answering these five questions.

Sometimes, there is even a reward to be had for enduring your boss’s rants for an extended period of time. I survived and grew from that difficult period. A year later, I was promoted. My wife and I were at a company party when Jim, now president of our division, approached and asked about our annual family vacation in Cape Cod. Without missing a beat, my wife smiled, recalling those two years of interrupted family vacations, and responded, “It was very nice, Jim, we missed you!” Jim was puzzled by my wife’s response, but my new boss, Cynthia, leaned over and whispered a quick explanation. Back in my office a few weeks later, I received a call from Cynthia, who said, “Jim and I want you and Debbie to travel to London for a half day of meetings, and then 12 days later go to Ireland for another half day of meetings.” Jim had recognized that his rants had also affected my wife and family, and he made things right by sending us on a memorable trip.

In most cases, your boss cares about being fair, and I have witnessed the regrets that follow rants. If you remember these five steps for responding responsibly to your boss’s rants, you will earn the rewards of improved performance and, who knows, maybe a surprise awaits you.

Updated: 2/27/2019

Originally Uploaded 10/26/2016 on: Forbes